* REBIRTH OF A STARSEED

I've been thinking about this week . . . I realized Cloud (my cat) biting me was the last drop of my past lives existing my body. Don't get me wrong I'll have hardships but it's the end of my 20 ' s and insecurity of doubt. When it comes to not trusting my natural intelligence and instinct, I throw that state of being to the wind and allow my truest grace to fall within.

His bite drained me and made me slow down, I could finally really see things, finally really appreciate this life and all the prayers I’ve prayed before to end it. I never noticed my daily state of melancholy because I was simply thinking too fast in a slow state of being.

The hospital reinstalled a deep passionate patience in me when a know-it-all doctor said they may have to amputate my thumb. A jolt from the Universe screamed “Pay attention to the signs! Watch what they tell you! Be conscious of what they tell you eat!”. Me just sitting there in that all white linen just letting them do whatever they wanted to me. Simply because I wanted to trust them, but then swiftly realizing nothing was getting done or going right, professionals of trade or not; when I put my life in others hands and not my own things would never feel right.

What happened? The pain got worse and so did the wound, till God took me back to my beginning, this was a glimpse visual of my mother, reminding me whom brought me into to this world. Through her grace and Gods love, I heard them both say, "I gave you life! Now take it back! Control your health, mind body & soul. ...it's your life! I did not ask to create to live and nor shall you". I instantly snapped back and was like “yeah I need to get out of here, this is not my life, this not my story, this is not my journey!”.

I heard God speak to me, they showed me so many varying examples that did and would always have the life that I've wanted, it's just been there waiting for me to relax and wake the hell up! I've never been told I was wrong as a child & deep down I never understood why but expected that someone else would always know the why. It became a super power that never knew I had nor ever expected. Life before just felt so bad & daunting, until it was almost shifted by a force I thought was greater than my own intuition.

I truly came into a state of accepting My gift, My purpose, My function, I was no longer feeling lost but found. It's a strange revelation just know and accept it without a question of a doubt.Now without a doubt, I knew exactly who I was born to be & who I am here to be for this life’s journey. From here on out, I knew life was going to be okay; no more stress, no what for need, no what about this or that . . . just simply being.

Life is about going with the first emotion & then allowing it to pass, no convolution of planned expectations or choosing from biased explanations. The correct process of follow through for me was attaining the gift of reason by way of The Law of Duality. By using it wisely, I now have no fear and it feels fucking amazing.

Love,

JAH

@ Cover photo courtesy of Paulina E. Art & Photography instagram.com/paulinaeartandphotography