* JOURNAL ENTRY: 8/18/20

Message from the soul to the inner child:

So I just had my moment of realization that I use to take help or suggestions as an attack on my ego, and I would lash out or shut others down for wanting to help us. I would then pray for more understanding, friends, and tribe, and then when we got them, I would push them away for thinking the thought they may know more than I knew of ourselves.

Silly concept to consider, not until a genuine friend reminded me that "not all advice and help is an attack on intelligence or character." That statement hit deep. I concluded it' was what I did with you, and I apologize. I was always short with you, I overspoke you, and I had a short fuse with your feelings. I am genuinely sorry my love.

I am consistently working to be aware of me, the soul; it's not my intent to be harsh. Emotional conditioning is more profound than I had ever realized. But I know it's not a reason ever to be disrespectful to you. I am in a place of overgrowth, and I am now trimming the unwanted rough and wild edges, reaching past our foundation.

The world made a harder seed, but you have always shown me comfort, and I am forever grateful to you for that. I'm still working on letting people in again. Sometimes I feel like a wild animal that was being tame for society's sake. I see now that I am open to learning from others. I am more willing to be forgiving of my actions and my interpretation of your past emotions.

Still, I'm digging deeper to repair any old feelings before returning to the public world of judgment and personal relationships. We seem to find the time to make for limited interactions, yet rarely make the same for ourselves. I see you, I see me, I value the We in me, and I am sorry, thank you for loving me through all my hidden pains as I enter my sovereignty. We are one tribe.

Love,

JAH