*SOCIAL-EMOTIONS

Combining, Not Blending, Our Energies

In social-emotional learning (SEL), cooperation, empathy, and relationship-building are often emphasized to foster genuine connection. However, a fine line exists between encouraging connection and sacrificing individuality.

Many assume unity requires people to blend seamlessly, softening differences until they become indistinguishable. However, true collaboration does not demand conformity; it thrives on integrating perspectives and strengths.

Sister Myra Ross captures this idea perfectly:

              “We are not trying to blend our energy. We are trying to combine our energy.”

This statement challenges the misconception that working together means erasing individuality. Instead, it highlights the power of maintaining personal identity while contributing to a larger whole.

SEL principles support combining energies rather than blending them, reinforcing the value of self-awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making.

Blending Leads to Disconnection

Blending suggests a loss of self and an erasure of differences in favor of uniformity. Social-emotional learning can manifest when individuals suppress their thoughts and emotions to maintain group harmony. While avoiding conflict might seem beneficial, it often leads to disengagement and a lack of authenticity in interactions.

Consider a classroom where students feel pressured to conform rather than express their unique perspectives. If every voice sounds the same, creativity and critical thinking suffer. The same applies to workplaces and personal relationships; when individuals prioritize fitting in over being true to themselves, genuine connection weakens.

SEL teaches that emotional intelligence is not about blending into a group but understanding personal emotions and those of others. When people blend too much, they lose the ability to advocate for themselves, set boundaries, and engage meaningfully. This weakens rather than strengthens relationships.

Power of Combining Strengths

Unlike blending, combining energy is an intentional process of bringing together different perspectives, skills, and emotional experiences without losing individual integrity. This approach aligns with SEL’s core competencies:

• Self-Awareness: Recognizing personal emotions and values ensures that collaboration does not compromise individuality.

• Social Awareness: Understanding the strengths of others allows for meaningful integration rather than forced uniformity.

• Relationship Skills: Strong relationships thrive when differences are acknowledged and respected rather than minimized.

Imagine a team where each person brings a unique skill set. Rather than blending into a single, indistinguishable force, they complement one another.

One person’s problem-solving ability enhances another’s creativity, while a third person’s leadership skills provide direction. This correlation creates a foundation for resilience, adaptability, and collective success.

The same applies to friendships, partnerships, and educational spaces. When individuals contribute their distinct strengths, they create a more innovative, balanced, and emotionally intelligent community.

Applying SEL in Daily Life

Understanding this concept is one thing; applying it is another. Here is how SEL principles support the practice of combining energy rather than blending:

• Encourage Individual Voice: Whether in classrooms, workplaces, or relationships, make space for each person’s unique perspective. Encourage open dialogue where all voices are valued.

• Develop Emotional Boundaries: Emotional intelligence includes recognizing where you end, and another person begins. Healthy relationships allow individuals to maintain their identity while contributing to the group.

• Foster Collaborative Problem-Solving: Approach challenges with the mindset that differences are assets, not obstacles. When people build solutions by integrating diverse strengths, outcomes improve.

By reinforcing these practices, SEL creates environments where individuals do not have to shrink to belong. Instead, they contribute fully, leading to deeper connections and stronger communities.

Strength Through Distinction

Social-emotional learning is not about erasing differences but using them constructively. Sister Myra Ross’s insight reminds us that true unity does not come from blending into a single force but from standing together with individual strengths intact.

By incorporating the SEL approach of combining rather than blending, individuals can foster genuine relationships, communicate effectively, and create environments where everyone’s unique contributions matter. The goal is not sameness. It is synergy.

The next time you find yourself tempted to blend in, ask instead: How can I bring my full self to this experience? Because real connection happens when people come together without losing who they are.

JAH